Advice/Dear KiKi

Dear KiKi: My Girlfriend’s Breath Smells Like Rotten Eggs. How Do I Handle This?

I’m So Distracted!

Credit: Jayesh

Dear KiKi,

I don’t know what to do. My girlfriend’s breath has gone rancid and I can’t focus on anything other than the dead raccoon smell emanating from her pie hole.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings or anything, but—holy. shit.

It’s getting so bad. I can’t even sit next to her on the couch without nearly gagging. I have a weak gag reflex, and I have to keep lying by telling her I’m having stomach issues. The truth is, I’d take the smell of hot tuna rotting in the sun over the smell of my baby’s breath any day.

Am I the asshole? What do I do about this?

Signed,

Richard Cheese

Dear Dick,

Yes. You are the asshole.

xo-Ki

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